The Percepts Fear, or as some professionals call it, a phobia, comes in many forms.
For a long time, I thought I only had a fear of failure. To be more precise, I wasn’t afraid of failing itself. I was afraid of people seeing me fail.
I didn’t want to disappoint others. I didn’t want people to think I wasn’t capable. I didn’t want to become an example of someone who tried and didn’t make it.
That part was easy to recognize.
What surprised me was realizing that I might also fear success.
When I sat down and thought about it, I remembered the opportunities I had avoided over the years. Some could have brought me more income. Some could have given me titles, responsibilities, or recognition. They were not impossible opportunities. I could have taken them.
So why didn’t I?
The answer wasn’t laziness.
It wasn’t a lack of ambition either.
I think it was the fear of change.
Success changes things. It changes how people see you and sometimes how you see yourself. People pay more attention to you. They expect more from you. They assume you know what you’re doing. They remember your name. They start watching what you do next.
As someone who is naturally quiet and reserved, that kind of attention feels uncomfortable.
Still, I would choose success over failure every time.
Failure scares me more.
Not because failing is bad, but because failing publicly feels like being exposed. It feels as though everyone can suddenly see your weaknesses.
But the more I thought about it, the more I noticed something interesting.
Success and failure have the same trap.
Both can stop you from growing.
Failure can make you avoid trying because you don’t want to be embarrassed.
Success can make you avoid opportunities because you don’t want the attention and expectations that might follow.
In both cases, fear is making the decisions.
And when fear makes your decisions, growth becomes impossible.
I don’t think the goal is to become someone who never fears success or failure. Fear will probably always be there in one form or another.
The goal may simply be to notice when fear is speaking and ask a difficult question:
Am I saying no because this is truly not for me, or because I am afraid of what happens if people see me fail—or worse, see me succeed?